Another season of The Joke and finale has ended — or, as it’s known in more honest circles, The Desperate Rich Try to Sell Wallpapered Nightmares for Profit.
This year’s finale gave viewers everything they’ve come to expect: forced drama, overacting, and an auction that went down faster than a crypto portfolio. Several houses didn’t even sell, proving once again that Australians will watch anything except the housing market in real life.
Producers called it “an emotional rollercoaster,” which is technically true if your definition of “rollercoaster” is “a slow-moving ride where everyone cries because they can’t flog a $4 million box in Hampton.”
The contestants, who spent months “designing their dream homes,” learned the true Australian lesson: the only way to win in property is to already be rich, or on Channel 9.
Meanwhile, viewers across the nation celebrated the finale the same way they do every year — by tweeting “housing crisis” in one tab and bidding on scented candles in another.
At least the show continues its proud tradition of inspiring young Australians everywhere to give up on ever owning a home.
